What would you do if you were vice-chancellor for the day?

That was the question posed by a couple of weeks ago. It gave us the perfect excuse to put the same poser to our 158,000 Twitter followers (). Hundreds of you responded using the “” hashtag.

Postgraduate students and early career researchers were top of many people’s agendas. Kate Muir (), a psychology researcher at the University of the West of England, said she would ensure that all postgrads “are entitled to maternity/paternity leave and pay in some form, instead of falling through cracks in the system”. Meanwhile, Joanne Neary (), a “qualitative researcher and methods nerd”, would make sure that “all postgraduate students were entitled to sick leave and all supervisors had up to date training” in mental health.

Christopher Saville (), research project support officer at Bangor University, kept things simple. He tweeted that he would erect a “giant statue of myself on campus”. Ayden Férdeline (), a graduate student at the London School of Economics, would “fire any academic who has been resident at one university for 10 years + and never taught at another”.

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Ghislaine Dell (), careers adviser at the University of Bath, would “make academics and professional services staff swap jobs for a week”. Adrian Coyle (), professor of social psychology at Kingston University, would “commit to teaching part of a module each year...to know how things are at the coal face”. Simon Fraser (, a teaching fellow at Ulster University, tweeted that he would ensure that “staff get to vote from a shortlist on who should be [pro vice-chancellor] or VC. Subsidised coffee would be nice too.”

The question posed a dilemma for “missus moody” (, who is “working and studying in higher education”. How would she wield the power? For her, it was a “toss up between on-site creche facilities or subsidised doughnut mornings”.

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Russell Smith (), an astronomer at Durham University, would get trigger-happy and “sack staff who chatter over visiting speakers’ talks”. He later reflected: “On balance, I think I probably shouldn’t be .” Jenny McDonald (), an educational technology teacher and researcher – and fan of bird metaphors – would stop universities from “breeding publishing super-chickens” and instead nurture “a culture of empathy, equity and transparency for the benefit of the flock”.

Many were idealistic. Eleonora Belfiore (), associate professor of cultural policy at the University of Warwick, would “publish the salaries of all staff, so we could all start a real conversation about gender equality in HE”. Dominic Dixon (), resource discovery and access assistant at Northumbria University, would “take a huge salary cut, abolish tuition fees, remove all corporatisation and implement a model based on anarchist philosophy”. Jo Heaton-Marriott (), public engagement manager at the University of Central Lancashire, would “open my office door, put the coffee on, open a packet of biscuits and meet my colleagues face to face”.

Some were less community spirited. Colin Cooper (), a research administrator, had one simple plan: “Retire on a final salary pension. Simples.”

Chris Parr

Send links to topical, insightful and quirky online comment by and about academics to chris.parr@tesglobal.com

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